There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
