Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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