new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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