So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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