Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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