Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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