What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
