By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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