I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize