Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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