guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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