i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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