He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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