Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
