I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Actions speak louder than pants.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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