Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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