You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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