There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
