This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
