I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
