as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
