I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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