evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need a sexual gate keeper
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
