We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
