i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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