I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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