I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
