I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
