Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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