ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
