But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
