Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
