Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
