What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
