do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
