At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
