is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
