i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
