Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
