Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
