I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sext me about skeletons
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
