at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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