Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
