You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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