we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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