I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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