i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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