he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
