I just cut my nipple shaving
smell my finger.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
