I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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